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18) They do not suffer fools gladly (thus only put up with drunk Australians and Americans during Oktoberfest because we’ll pay hideous amounts of money for hideous amounts of beer). They will stare, bewildered, at thonged feet and quietly wonder if the wearer is mad.

21) Germans simply do not understand thongs/flip flops/jandals as viable footwear. And a boot is impractical, or too warm for the feet to be comfortable.

To be fair, I think most of Northern Europe quivers with excitement and apparently it is broadcast in Australia as well (who knew). They don’t know how, they have no interest in trying.

But the supremely odd thing isn’t a national obsession with a 1920s black and white sketch comedy from another country that has nothing to do with New Years Eve, but the fact that this is the one film the Germans don’t dub. It is a rare German indeed who uses their full name on Facebook as opposed to a bizarre cross section of their first and last names, eg: Mo Na Berg or Le Na. This is the one time Germans embrace a lack of system and what happens when a queue is called for is the unfortunate culmination of Germanic forcefulness and uncertainty in the face of a system-less world. It’s like they all secretly take a class at school when they’re eleven, in preparation for a life time of beer consumption.

You absolutely cannot get on a train and not have a delay. 82) Most Germans seem to, even though there are so many occasions upon which they could get away with not having a ticket.

The delay comes with your ticket purchase, free of charge. This sense of honesty will eventually rub off on you.

[EDIT: #78 proved to be so controversial that our author felt compelled to write some words of explanation. but remain in boots and jeans with a pashmina close by. Even when it’s obvious the weather isn’t going to turn. 26) They don’t appreciate the use of the rude finger when driving. By the time we’re all losing our shit with the Breezers, the Germans are enjoying a much more tempered relationship with alcohol … 40) They don’t necessarily say it to you face, at the time …

To read the point that caused so much debate, and Liv’s postscript, scroll down to the bottom of the post]1) Germans are tall. 7) They are very good bike riders – nay, they are exceptional bike riders. If you give it to a fellow driver, that driver reserves the right to report you and your licence plate and you will get a fine. 30) In the same vein of their love for enormous hardware stores, Germans favour a mesmerisingly large Ikea (and other such stores in the same vein as Ikea) complete with an upstairs restaurant, a downstairs cafe and the all important hotdog/bratwurst stand. 31) Germans can always enjoy a hotdog/bratwurst, no matter the time, no matter the place. but Germans don’t like it when you go against the tide in the supermarket. This they will say to your face, using a microphone and an unimpressed tone.

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44) Germans, Muensteranians in particular, are always exceptionally well groomed. Royalties from German radio probably single-handedly keep the singers the rest of the world wants to forget, in rent-money.

Come Winter, Germany turns into a sea of identical jackets, people’s age distinguishable only by the brand they’re wearing.

84) There is an obvious divide when it comes to what kind of high school you went to (there are 3) and what kind of leaving certificate you gained.

I have discussed this with a German who I was, ironically, making small talk with in a department store.

He suspects it is because the German language is not particularly made for meandering small talk. His own brand of small talk was honed on frequent trips to America. 49) In keeping with Article 34, Germans are very open and relaxed about most things .

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